GUMMO

Rated:
Extremely Dangerous
*

Director
&
Writer:

Harmony Korine

Some movies are lazy. Some movies exist just to take up space. This atrociously boring and directionless film falls right into that category. This is a shame because experimental auteur Korine is a pretty good writer. The dialogue smacks of reality, even if the situations are so far out, but words are not enough to save this turgid, bizarre film.

The plot, or what can be considered a plot, is about a whole bunch of fucked up hicks in a boring ass town doing crazy shit like: a dorky kid eating spaghetti and drinking milk while taking a bath and having his mom wash his hair. Or kids killing cats (or collecting roadkilled ones) to sell to the local supermarket for a dollar a cat. Or a skinny-as-sticks kid walking around in little shorts and big, pink bunny ears for some reason. Or three sisters taping up their boobs and looking for their missing cat, Foot-Foot. Or a kid pounding away at his bicep with a barbell made of cutlery taped together. Or kids sniffing glue and making out in a pool in the rain. I could go on and on, but I think you get the picture.

There is a narrartor present, and it seems as if he is trying to make sense of the senselessness around him, but soon you realize that his musings are just as empty as the images. The listlessness of the film perhaps tries to make us better appreciate the sadness of these kids lives, and that would have been a good concept if it had been handled better. But Korine is more in love with weird characters and abstract reality. Film is an art form, and this type of film would be the equivalent of plopping a dollop of black paint on a canvass and calling it midnight...it's bullshit.

VERDICT:

This is about as random and pointless and movies get, but every once and a while a bit of hard truth about the disenfranchised youth of middle American sneaks in. Even these moments do not save this limp, and aimless movie about nothing. Stay away at all costs, unless you're into cinematic bullshit.

WHAT IS IT?

(no stars...not even close)

Director:
Crispin Hellion Glover

Writer:
Crispin Hellion Glover

What is "WHAT IS IT?" You may ask, and I may answer "I have no fucking clue." This is without a doubt the weirdest, most random film I will ever review on this blog. Oh yes! Even more random than anything Lynch, Maddin, or Korine can throw my way. Compared to Glover, those guys are Joseph Campbell! This film is so random that the only way to review it is by matching it random bit for random bit. My apologies for what follows, but if you saw the movie you'd understand. Here we go!

Snail's talking in whispers and then screaming when a down syndrome kid pours salt on them. Snails voiced by Fairuza Balk from "THE CRAFT". Glover is the devil. An old guy with cerebral palsy getting a blow job from a girl in a monkey mask. Another girl in an animal mask with massive breasts walking around a fog shrouded set right out of "PLAN 9". Glover is the lead kid's inner-psyche. Down syndrome kids performing their own version of "FIGHT CLUB". Shirley Temple. Nazis. Labias. People in black-face and snail juice. Thrones. Seriously deformed people in flanel. Racist Johnny Rebel music. Golden halos of holly. People stoning the down syndrome kids. Shovels hitting lopsided heads. Watermelons being smashed. Giant clams. Big, weird, giant clams. Handicapped blowjobs. Detergent box puppets. Papier Mache volcanoes. Glover is pissing me off. Overly made-up handi-capables coming on to Glover, wanting to be his girlfriend. A praying mantis eating a retarded person. No Script. No point. No reason to exist.

I think you get the idea what this 72 minute waste of time is all about. Glover calls it a reaction to Hollywood bullshit and apparently fills the film with tons and tons of symbolism. That's all well and good, but when the film in actuality amounts to absolutely nothing then its just as bad as the Hollywood trash he's raging against. The images mean nothing and the casting of people with down syndrome was not a stunt, according to Glover, but what does it mean then? Only retarded people would appear in his films? What does that say about Fairuza balk?

Is this art? Well, yeah, by definition it is. Does it force us to open our eyes to the world around us and see things different? No, not really. Is it a powerful statement about anything? No, nothing. Does it help us reevaluate anything? No. The film serves no purpose except maybe to waste your time, money, and faith in experimental cinema.

I was really hoping for an interesting art film with some unique elements, but what I got turned my stomach and worse than that, it bored me. Glover will not say what the film is about, and I wager it is because he has no clue. I will also wager he takes a lot of non-perscription drugs. The funny thing is that he is a very personable and regular guy in real life. In fact, the only way to see this un-masterpiece is to attend one of Glover's roadshows, which I did. The best part was when he read from his equally bizarre and pointless books, because he came alive as a person and an artist. In this film, he basically sends experimental film a thousand years back. I can gaurantee that this slow, turgid, unsufferable and incredibly politically incorrect piece of garbage will not be gracing your TVs anytime soon. That being said, if you can find this turd, get it! It'd make for one hell of a MST3K night! I guarentee you that you won't believe your eyes.

VERDICT:

This severely perverse and ridiculous film is neither enjoyable or interesting. Only the pain-loving film freaks would get anything out of this tortuous and pointless waste of time, and that is only if they can ever find it! But why would you look?